16 Harsh Truths that Make Us Stronger (from the blog: Marc and Angel Hack Life)

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more manhood (or womanhood) to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.
- Alex Karras

1. Life is not easy. – Hard work makes people lucky – it’s the stuff that brings dreams to reality.  So start every morning ready to run farther than you did yesterday and fight harder than you ever have before.  (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
2. You will fail sometimes.  – The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  So get out there and do something!  Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson.  Win – Win.
3. Right now, there’s a lot you don’t know. – The day you stop learning is the day you stop living.  Embrace new information, think about it and use it to advance yourself.
4. There may not be a tomorrow. – Not for everyone.  Right now, someone on Earth is planning something for tomorrow without realizing they’re going to die today.  This is sad but true.  So spend your time wisely today and pause long enough to appreciate it.

For the rest of the harsh truths, please go here.

26.How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Today, I would still be in my 30s.  Some days, I'm older.  Other days, I feel like a kid; especially when I discover something I've never known or seen.

25.When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right?

When the scruple begins to own every waking moment, it's time.  I'm extremely guilty of compunction.  When faced with a decision, my brain kicks in, and the decision-making process becomes a cadence to my daily activities.  Eventually, something will happen to cause me to feel that I have finally reached a point where I've looked at the issue from every view possible.  That's when the decision happens.  Sometimes, I wake up with the decision made...which leads me to believe that sometimes, my sleeping moments are owned as well.

24.When you are 80-years-old, what will matter to you the most?

That I accomplished something, whatever it may be.
That I have no real enemies.
That I have no real hate for anyone else.
That I can remember the important pieces of my 8 decades of existence.

But more important than any of that....

That I loved, and that I was loved.

23.Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?

I'm sure that I am, though this past year, I have had a moment of realization that all of my memories do not need to be stacked in boxes that are never opened.  Noah and I have slowly been going through everything and deciding what stays in our lives and what needs to just go.  I've done this before.  Once, Noah brought me a shoebox filled with letters and notes from Junior High through my Senior year.  I read each one while sitting on the living room floor.  The memories were renewed, and then I retired them to my pile of old memories.  It's a difficult process, as I hold many things precious to my heart.

I'm really not sure if it's maturity that has made me capable of letting go, or the lack of space.  Maybe it's the oldness of the items, like the essence of the memory has faded to the point that when I hold it again, the intensity is just not there anymore.  There will always be some things that will always remain in my life.  But sometimes, especially with the ones attached with painful memories, you have just got to let go.

22.What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?

If I live my entire life without being a parent, I will regret that.  See yesterday's post.

LIFE'S BREATH: Tears (NIAW Bust an Infertility Myth: TRYING IS FU...

I am posting this because this woman has written in words what I feel in my heart. When people ask me what it's like to not get pregnant, I think I will just simply point them to this blog.

LIFE'S BREATH: Tears (NIAW Bust an Infertility Myth: TRYING IS FU...: "When the alarm sounds, they both jump out of bed, neither able to contain their excitement. They frantically get ready, not really sure wh..."

21.If you had to teach something, what would you teach?

Hmmm....I think I would like to teach turtles.

20.Which activities make you lose track of time?

This blog does, for one.

Researching something I want to know more about.

Having a great conversation with a great friend.

Stupid Facebook.  I mean, YAY, Facebook.  =P

Crocheting.

19.If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?

I actually feel that my better friends are the ones that are honest with me.  Yes, I occasionally need the "You are AWESOME" speech from the ones closest to me, just like everyone when they're having a bad day.  But for the most part, I like it when my friends tell it like it is.  Yes, it may sting a while, but when I realize that they're right, then, well, that's why they're my friends.

18.Is it possible to lie without saying a word?

Isn't that what omission is all about?  When we don't say something, then we are keeping it from someone else, thereby lying.  Is lying always a bad thing?  Or is it okay if it protects someone else, or if the omission is due to something told to you in secrecy?

17.What does your joy look like today?

My joy is not very visible today. 

16. Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

Noah and I were couch testing last weekend, trying to find one we really liked.  We wanted a reclining sofa, so we went to 5 different stores to make sure that the one we picked out at La Z Boy was the one we really wanted.

Well, there are at least two ways to recline in a sofa.  Either you have a lever on the side that brings the footrest up, or you have this parachute ripcord device between the arm and the cushion that you pull up and the footrest deploys.

After about the 20th couch, Noah and I were both feeling a bit froggy.  We both pulled the cord for our respective footrests at the same time.  We then proceeded to pretend we were skydiving (couchdiving?).  It cracked us both up so much, that a few days later, I was thinking about it, and started laughing all over again.

This, my friends, is what they mean by marital bliss.

15.If not now, then when?

When health insurance covers the cost, or when a miracle happens.  Not sure which will happen first, but, there is an organization that is hellbent of making the former happen: http://www.resolve.org/

14.What is the difference between living and existing?

Everything exists.  To truly live is to take pleasure in the fact that you do exist.

13.Do you celebrate the things you do have?

Absolutely. I celebrate that:
Noah is my husband every chance I get.
My intelligence is high enough to allow me to accomplish most of what I set out to do.
I am fortunate to have several very true friends who are just as dedicated to cultivating our friendship as I am.
I have the ability to provide shelter and food to two people and four Quad-Pods.

And the list goes on...

What do you celebrate?

12.What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I would have blue hair.
I would dress like Abby on NCIS (sometimes).
I would have a glass of wine at lunch.

I'm sure there's more.  I may have to update this one.

11.Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

It depends.  What caused the crying to commence?  Is it because it's past your bedtime, and your mom is dragging you to bed?  Or are you crying because you just received news of a friend dying?   Now that I think about it, maybe it is a sign of much needed weakness.  We cry when we are vulnerable.  Even the strongest, most macho man will cry.  And that's okay.

10.What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?

This is a hard one.  Let me think.....

I think a year ago, my hair was too short to put in a ponytail, so I'm going to go with that.  I can put my hair in a ponytail now.

9.What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?

Hmmmm....interesting. 

One of my best girlfriends and I were discussing reincarnation/life after death last night.  Here is my belief, and I know of at least one person who will read this that will definitely NOT agree.  The good thing is, we're okay with our different beliefs, and it makes for extremely interesting conversations.

I believe that we, as humans, have developed our own way of coping with what happens when someone dies.  Either to assuage our fear of our own dying, or to enable us to be okay when a loved one is gone.  To know that their life meant something, and was a path to a higher station, somehow makes dying just a little more okay.  You hear that in phrases muttered during funerals.  "He's in a much better place."  "She's no longer suffering."  These are non-denominational.  It's true, she's no longer suffering, so I usually go with that one to avoid stepping on anybody's belief.

My personal belief that helps me cope?  It's not mine personally, actually.  It's a conglomeration of everything I have read on the subject, and my own personal opinion.  And this is where people will disagree with me.  I believe that our soul goes into a sort of holding pattern.  Think, an airport terminal.  Souls coming and going, interacting somewhat with other souls.  Getting refreshed while waiting for their plane to open for boarding.  People clinging to the ones leaving, sad that they won't see them for a while.

While at this terminal, our souls think back on their former lives, and take note of what worked, what didn't.  They check in on how the people they left behind are doing.  Then, when it's time, they get ready to be re-introduced.  When they show back up in a human, they aren't supposed to remember any of their past lives, though their present life is subconsciously influenced by past experiences.  Sometimes, and I believe it's when a past life was extraordinarily eventful, remnants of moments are recognized and cause us to ponder the possibility of past lives.

So, in a nutshell, that's what I believe happens when we die.  It's okay to disagree with me; it's what makes us human.

Procrastination is my THANG! Not really, but....

Okay, so, last week was pretty stressful.  You never realize how much you love your job until the government threatens to make it illegal for you to show up.  Seriously.  How many of us wake up and ponder the fact that we really don't want to go to work.  I know I do.  I will waste a good five minutes thinking about how my life would be if I didn't have to work.  Then I get to the part where I'm bored, and it's time to get up.

So, on top of the threat of a governement shutdown, and scrambling to get all my work done for the next 500 years, last week was pretty hectic.  Which is my lousy explanation for not posting the question/answer thing.  Eli, you may call me a slacker for the duration of one week.

Now, let's continue with our regularly scheduled blogging....

8. Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

So, how many of you read the title and thought, "Oh, she is going to ramble on about Noah....blah blah blah."


See, I'm not as predictable as you thought!  =)


No, today, I'll answer this question a little more philosophically.  Sure, I love Noah, but everyone who meets me knows that.  


So, who do I love?  I love people who care about other people.  What I mean is, we all care for someone, but it takes special effort to care about humanity on a whole, broader aspect.  When we go out into the world, we are barraged with all different types of people.  How we react to them defines what type of person we truly are.  Of course we're nice to our friends and family (well, most of our family), but have you met anyone who is a friend to everyone?  I have.  This person will remain anonymous, but let me tell you a little about him.


This guy goes through life with the deep conviction that there is good in every single person.  No, he's not a pushover, because I've seen him stand up for himself.  But he will extend his hand to the lowliest stranger.  Not to just help him, but to help him onto his feet.  People do try to take advantage of him, and it does happen, but only once.


I think that if everyone could extend their kindness to everyone, then maybe we could have a little peace.


I saw a quote today that made me decide to answer this question in the way that I did.


Never look down on anybody, unless you're helping them up. ~ Rev. Jesse Jackson

2 For The Price of One (Because I forgot Yesterday!)

Okay, so answering a question a day is much easier to do when I'm at work then when I am left to my own devices on the weekend.  So, here it is, 30 minutes to midnight on Sunday, and I was hit with the realization that I hadn't answered the questions of the day(s).  So please bear with me while I make up for my lack of discipline:


6.  What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?
Hmmm...5 years ago was right after I left the Navy.  I was on terminal leave and was in the process of setting up house in Georgia, potty training Jager, and looking for a job.  I'm not really sure on what I would have spent more time five years ago, because I didn't have much extra time.  Gosh, I really can't think of anything.  I have no regrets during that time.


7.  Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
I absolutely do not settle, and that is sometimes not a good thing.  I am a habitual Googler.  I am constantly looking for more information.  I have an underlying fear of succumbing to Alzheimer's (Miss you, Granny!).  One of the ways I have found (thanks to Google!) to launch a preemptive strike against Alzheimer's is to keep my mind busy.  That's easy.  I hear something new, I find out as much information I can.  Depending on how interested I am about the topic, I may spend anywhere from 30 seconds to hours learning what I feel is an adequate amount of information.  This will be very beneficial if I am ever chosen as a Jeopardy contestant!


Good Night, Everyone.  Peace.

5.What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

I learned that not all of my dreams are going to come true.

See, when I was a little girl, like all little girls, I had my wedding all planned out way ahead of time.  I just knew that my Daddy would walk me down the aisle, and that my Mom would sing "The Wedding Song" by Paul Stookey, and all would be right in the world.  The only thing not set in stone was who the groom was going to be.

Also like all little girls, life plays cruel tricks on us.  My wedding was very far from what I planned.  Neither Daddy or Mom were there because of circumstances well beyond their or anyone else's control.  If you know me (and so far, all 3 of my followers do), then you know why Mom wasn't there.  Daddy had just buried his own Mom a week before, and had used all of his vacation time to spend her last moments with her.  Oh yeah, and I forgot my vows at the house, the candles were left at the hotel, and the marriage certificate was MIA until right before the ceremony.

Was I crushed on what was the happiest day of my life?  Sure.  Of course.  But, and here's where I realized that it's never all about me.  There was no one to blame for my plans being dashed.  And, in the end, it was the most perfect wedding, with the most perfect groom.  My brother and his family flew all the way from Texas and he walked me down the aisle.  His little girls, who are such beautiful teenagers now, were my flower girl and ring girl.  Oh, and the song mentioned above?  Yeah, it was sung.  By the most awesome father-in law a girl could ask for.  And, a shout out to Nick Leninger, who somehow turned a normally 40 minute round trip into 20, arriving in perfect time for me to read the vows that I had written while floating in the middle of the Indian Ocean, just weeks after 9/11.  More than a year before I had to say them. =)

So, no, my dreams didn't come true; at least the dreams I knew about.  Yet the dreams that I had no idea about back when I was planning my perfect wedding turned out to be the truest dreams ever.  I have so many wonderful things in my life, that if a stray dream doesn't come true, I'm okay.  I can continue dreaming.

4.What gets you excited about life?

Oh, this one is easy!  There are so many things that make me grateful that I am breathing.  Right now, it's the prospect of Spring.  Warmer weather means more outdoor activities, which equates to more bike riding. 

Every day, I'm excited to be married to my beautiful husband.  I mean it.  Every single day.

The little things also excite me.  A new bud forming on my rose bush.  Snuggling with my fur babies.  Trying something new. 

I think we humans get into such concrete routines, that we forget to take a moment to really appreciate what we have around us.  If we stop wishing for more, and be thankful for what we have, then I truly believe that the majority of us would be pretty darn satisfied. 

Sensible....

3.  What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?

Say, out loud?  One thing that comes to mind is something my Dad said to me:  "I'm not going to tell you not to do it, because then you'll do it anyway.  I just better not ever get a phone call from jail, because I won't accept the collect call."

Yeah, that pretty much kept me out of some sticky situations growing up, and probably, subconsciously, is still keeping me on the somewhat right path.

It's easy to decide NOT to do something that may or may not result in being handcuffed and hauled off to the big house when you know that you may just have to stay awhile.

This also applied to stupid decisions I made that forced me to call my Dad for help.  He was basically telling me he was not ever going to grant me a bailout.  Once, when I was younger, I needed money to pay my cell phone bill.  I called him up, begged for money, and was abruptly diconnected by way of him slamming down the receiver.  The conversation, in a nutshell was pretty much I was an adult, with a job (navy), so I should be able to pay my own bills.  If I wasn't able, then I was doing something wrong.  That's when I learned that he meant the entire set of definitions for the phrase bailout.

This has taught me that it's MY responsibility, and mine alone to make sure that I can take care of what needs to be taken care of.  Noah and I are a great team in that we discuss big ticket items with each other (I don't just go out and buy a $50 game or $100s in clothes).  This keeps us from the fights that many people have over money. 

Question 2.

2.  Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?


I believe that it is human nature to compare yourself to everyone.  I think it's kind of a systems check.  How you deal with the results determines what type of person you are.  I compare my knowledge level at work to my coworkers, I compare my singing ability to other singers, and I compare my looks to just about everyone in the world.  Does it consume me?  Maybe the first comparison.  I pride myself on my knowledge, and am continually striving to expand it.  Singing is a personal expression of our feelings.  So if someone sounds better than I do, I dwell for a second, then remind myself that the way someone is singing a song is THEIR way, not mine.  As for looks, and this is where many people get consumed, yes, I compare myself to others.  If people didn't do a check on how they compare to others, if they didn't care about the way they looked, they would wind up in pajamas in the middle of the day cruising the aisles of Wal-Mart.  I will NEVER wear PJs to Wal-Mart for a routine shopping excursion.  Granted, if there is an emergency that requires an item carried at that store, and it's 3 in the morning, then yes, I may be seen in at least sweats or yesterday's clothes.  

Inspiration From a Friend

I have been inspired.  Eli, a great friend of mine, has given me an idea on how to actually commit to posting on this here blog.

Using the list here, I'm going to answer one question a day for the next year.  Granted, I'm starting with one follower on here (Thank you, Iva!), but maybe I'll get more friends (an ironic statement.  I have many friends, and I am thankful for all of them).

So, here goes: 

1. When was the last time you tried something new?

Wow, this has taken me longer than I thought it would.  Oh, wait, I know!  Spanx.  I finally found some that weren't outrageously overpriced at one of those discount stores (Marshalls, I believe).  I bought a pair of pantyhose for an upcoming event.  I must say that, after wearing them for four hours straight, I am quite pleased with my purchase!  No shifting, no rolling, no gathering at my ankles.  So, I am now on the Spanx bandwagon. 

This has also made me realize that it's probably been a long time since I have tried anything that is new that is actually interesting.  This will have to change.  Soon.  I can't continue to be mundane in a mundane world.

Bike MS Fundraising Plea

Every hour of every day, someone is diagnosed with MS. That's why I registered for Bike MS and why I'm asking you to support my fund raising efforts with a tax-deductible donation.

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society is dedicated to ending the devastating effects of MS but they can't do it without our help. It's faster and easier than ever to support this cause that's so important to us. Simply go to the websites at the bottom of this flyer.
Noah is riding 60 miles for the Fight, and I am volunteering the day of the race. Please help us reach our fundraising goals.

Any amount, great or small, helps to make a difference in the lives of people with MS. We appreciate your support and look forward to letting you know how Noah does in the ride.

P.S. If you would like more information about the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, how proceeds from the MS Bike Tour are used, or the other ways you can get involved in the fight against MS, please visit www.nationalmssociety.org.

Noah's Donation Page

My Donation Page